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Sen. Ashburn: “I’m gay.”
March 8, 2010
by Brian Leubitz
In what amounts to a political epitaph as a Republican in a virulently anti-gay political party, state Sen. Roy Ashburn (R-Bakersfield) admitted what much of the Sacramento establishment has known for a while now.
Republican Sen. Roy Ashburn, who has been on leave from the Senate since his DUI arrest last week, confirmed today that he is gay.
“I’m gay,” Ashburn told KERN radio host Inga Barks in an interview this morning. “Those are the words that have been so difficult for me for so long.”
Ashburn’s announcement follows reports that Ashburn was leaving a gay club before he was arrested for driving under the influence last week.
The closet is a soul-crushing, debilitating place to be. It rips you apart, and eventually, you will do something stupid. When you try to hide something so important to who you are, it will eventually consume you. And, to be clear, this is most assuredly about more than just sex, it is about who you love, who you want to share the rest of your life with, and who you are.
The closet cracks in more or less dramatic fashion. For Ashburn, it was more dramatic because of his history of support for anti-gay causes. For people like Bill Postmus, the damage can lead to self-medicating with drugs or self-destructive behaviors. But in the end, the close will always take its toll. It will always win; control your life in some way or another. You simply can’t control your life if you are trying to hide who you are.
Ashburn tries to cover for his hypocrisy by pointing out that his constituents would want it that way. But constituents don’t elect a set of political positions, when they are voting on candidates, they are choosing a person. A person with failures and faults, and a sense of morality. Ashburn was so busy trying to hide who he was that he forgot to mind his conscience and whatever sense of morality to which he subscribes.
Time will move on, and Bakersfield will likely elect another anti-gay Senator come November. Ashburn will end his political career in disgrace and shuffle off to play the Sacramento third house games in some way. But, he will do so as an openly gay man. And he will soon discover that telling the truth means more than the ability to go to a gay bar in peace, but also a sense of liberty that you just don’t have in a stifling closet.
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140 Comments Leave a Comment
1.
Eddie | March 8, 2010 at 3:22 am
Will he now become a gay ally?
2.
K!r!lleXXI | March 8, 2010 at 3:27 am
Look, America, what you do with gays!
Do we deserve to be so self-hating "for the Bible told you so?"
Do we deserve to hate other gays because they have it better now?
Do we deserve to go against our own people and our own sexual desires to serve your bigotry and religious blindness?
Do we deserve to be unhappy so you could be satisfied with your government?
Do you deserve to have a right to tell us how to live our lives?
The closet only proves there is no such thing as "ex-gay"!
The closet kills everything good we have in our lives…
The closet smothers us for no good reason…
The closet kills us… literally…
You kill us…
Stop! Just stop!
–Kirill, Russia
3.
Ronnie | March 8, 2010 at 3:39 am
I posted this on the other threat about this bottom feeder (pun intended)……..
This self-hating @$$whole is just as bad as every other Hatero that says….“I felt my duty, and I still feel this way, is to represent my constituents.”……and…….“I believe firmly that my responsibility is to my constituents. I will take a careful look at each measure and apply that standard. How would they vote on this? How would they want me to vote on this,”……..
(me) The problem is…that the Hateros constantly ignore that LGBTQQI people are also their consituents….They ignore that we pay taxes also….I mean honestly…I really am getting tired of having to say….”you can take my money(taxes) but not give all the rights and benefits that money pays for?……
Now answer me this you closet case Hatero B!tch by default…..If the boston tea party had never happened and the colonials said…”Ok keep taxing us and take our rights away”….would you be a senator today?…..That’s what I thought….<3…Ronnie
4.
Ronnie | March 8, 2010 at 3:46 am
"he will soon discover that telling the truth means more than the ability to go to a gay bar in peace, but also a sense of liberty that you just don’t have in a stifling closet."
I doubt he will be able to go to a gay bar in peace now….but yes he will have some sense of liberty and freedom….unfortunately because of his help………that liberty and freedom will be very limited (for the time being)….SHAME on him…..<3…Ronnie
5.
Michael | March 8, 2010 at 3:47 am
I would say, "Don't count on it."
6.
David Kimble | March 8, 2010 at 3:48 am
I don't know how Ashburn will play this one out in Kern County, where I live – I am certain he wishes the entire event never happened, but it did. I have heard him speak and from my perspective, when he speaks, I never heard such a bunch of jumbled horse pucky in my life. He has voted against the LGBT community at every opportunity and I have no way of understanding his motives. BTW, I am currently looking at the Prop8 donor list to see, if his name appears on the list. <3 David
7.
Michael | March 8, 2010 at 3:49 am
By any chance, do you know if there's still an online location for the list?
Thank you.
8.
David Kimble | March 8, 2010 at 3:55 am
I just searched and didn't find his name on the list, but there were other Ashburn's on the list and I have no way of determining, where they are, etc. <3 David
9.
David Kimble | March 8, 2010 at 3:57 am
Yes, here is a link – http://www.sfgate.com/webdb/prop8/
10.
Bob | March 8, 2010 at 4:13 am
Ashburn did the right thing by coming out of the closet, if he plays his cards right (depending on the sincerity, with which he embraces his true identity, remember what coming out is like) he could become an advocate for gay rights, and teach a strong lesson about the coming out process, no matter how far in the closet you are.
Depending on his level of awareness and honesty, I'm prepared to forgive injustices he participated in from that dark place of deciet and lies.
11.
Rightthingtodo TX | March 8, 2010 at 4:19 am
And if that's true, then doesn't that help support the claim that lgbt community has no political power.
This loony bird also helps prove that point. There's some vile stuff in here (as usual) so beware.
http://www.wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pag…
Even when a sub-group of the "other" side supports lgbt, the sub-group gets crucified….thereby undermining any political support.
12.
Ronnie | March 8, 2010 at 4:22 am
He already said he will not…that he stands by what he did(voting ways)…He will only be an advocate for self hating morons…..who still believe they have the right to tell other people how to live their lives….regardless of how they live theirs…..let him move to NYC and see if he will just be able to transplant himself into the LGBTQQI community…..IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN…..the only way that will happen is if he denounces everything he did as ways of repressing who he is….apologizing and joining in the fight…<3….Ronnie
http://www.gaypolitics.com/2010/03/08/conservativ…
13.
Straight Ally #3008 | March 8, 2010 at 4:32 am
"We're told that in the last few weeks
Mr. BigsbySen. Ashburn has accepted the fact that he is ablackgay man…."14.
Ronnie | March 8, 2010 at 4:44 am
This guy pointed out why I am sure that Senator A$$burn will have very little peace and very little acceptance from the majority of LGBTQQIA community….do I feel sorry for his closet case…sure why not….but I do not feel bad for the way he went about building his closet case….he was a closet case…I pity this ex-closet case…..closet case….
look up: "Senator Ashburn Rant – Everyone's A Little Bit Gay" by youtuber LapanceAcademy
on youtube….there is a lot of cursing in it so I'm not sure if I should post it…..so I won't….
but this guy's rant is on point…..<3….Ronnie
15.
Jordan | March 8, 2010 at 4:52 am
Any updates on the closing arguments of the prop 8 case. I am not finding any new news?
16.
Bill | March 8, 2010 at 5:03 am
This 'man' must ask forgivness from the LGTB community.
For in his zeal in keeping his closet door sealed, his legislative policies and votes have caused ACTUAL HARM AND DAMAGE to ACTUAL HUMAN BEING'S LIVES.
Sorry, Ashburn, we know that being gay is difficult and all, but you are a complete and total asshole for having involved yourself in politics and the oppression not only of millions of LGTB citizens, but OF YOURSELF, you tool.
This pisses me WAYYYYYYYYYYYYY off.
17.
David Kimble | March 8, 2010 at 5:05 am
@Jordan, no not that I have heard about. I am certain prop8trialtracker.com will let us know, when closing arguments are scheduled. <3 David
18.
Straight Dave | March 8, 2010 at 5:07 am
So won't this teach Bakersfield to stop electing anti-gay Senators, since they are more likely to be gay themselves?
Isn't this becoming commonplace for some of the most virulent haters, who are just trying to conceal themselves?
Shouldn't somebody tell the voters that the way to have fewer gays in government is to elect pro-gay straights – like me
Slap!!! Wake up, Dave. You're making too much sense. Nobody would do that.
19.
Ronnie | March 8, 2010 at 5:08 am
http://www.advocate.com/News/Daily_News/2010/03/0…
Posted on Advocate.com March 08, 2010
Cicilline Has Baggage
By Neal Broverman
"Providence, R.I. mayor David Cicilline wants to become America's fourth openly gay Congress member, but right now some of his relationships are complicating his run for the House of Representatives."
"has a brother convicted of corruption"…… "his former police driver has just been arrested in connection with a cocaine-dealing ring."
(me) and this has to do with him being able to do his job because?…..I feel the force of the reich at work here…..so his brother went to jail for a white collar conviction….big fu<king deal……NY has a senator who slashed his now finance with a broken glass bottle (and is running for office again with an anti-gay platform)….Sarah Falin's daughter is a HO!!!!…Bush's daughter's are drunks….Dick Cheney shot a man while hunting….Bill Clinton….well BJ's are a mans best friend right?……But all this guy did was have a brother who did a white collar No No….and whose husband of an employee of his is a crooked cop(nothing new)……I 100% believe that the problems he is having has to do with him being Gay….JMHGO….<3…Ronnie
20.
David Kimble | March 8, 2010 at 5:09 am
[youtube
21.
Bill | March 8, 2010 at 5:11 am
"Shouldn’t somebody tell the voters that the way to have fewer gays in government is to elect pro-gay straights – like me."
___________________________________________
Yikes. Fewer gays in government???
Please tell me you didn't actually just say that.
22.
Ronnie | March 8, 2010 at 5:18 am
have a nice nap….<3…Ronnie
23.
Paul N | March 8, 2010 at 5:22 am
"Will he now become a gay ally?"
In my opinion, no.
It is simply not an option for him for several reasons:
1) He will never be trusted or forgiven by LGBT activists. There is simply too much dirt to be swept under this carpet. Unlike his broken friendships with conservatives, there is no past friendship to base a new friendship on.
2) For too many years he has been focusing on only himself (Do they know? I need to hide…). It will be nearly impossible for to make a 180 degree turn and start advocating to protect others.
3) This is only the start to his embarrassment. He will probably lose the support of many family members and friends. Without any kind of emotional support, he'll feel ashamed and most likely just want to crawl in a hole and never come out (pun intended) again.
I think he'll probably write a book about "how lonely it is to be gay in the Republican Party". There will be several small articles about the book showing a photo of him and his lover (at that time). And then nothing further but a slow quiet retirement from politics and the public eye.
And in decades to come, he will die a lonely death. The world will have changed into a place where LGBT folks are accepted, but where he never truly accepted himself.
24.
fiona64 | March 8, 2010 at 5:24 am
As I said on the previous thread, Ashburn knew he would NEVER be elected in Kern County if he were out. NEVER. And why is that? Because LGBT people have no political power.
Love,
Fiona
25.
Ronnie | March 8, 2010 at 5:28 am
Yessssssss!!!!!!…finally something to fill in the whole left by "Will & Grace"…
"It Takes a Village."
http://www.advocate.com/News/Daily_News/2010/03/0…
"Cheyenne Jackson has joined the cast" (he's so dreamy)…."The gay star will play the boyfriend of a character previously married to a woman, played by Leah Remini. Jackson, his boyfriend, Remini, and her boyfriend all team up to raise a teenager."…..
(me)….I can't wait….the comedy…the drama…the antics….this is going to be good……..<3…Ronnie
26.
Kathleen | March 8, 2010 at 5:50 am
As to closing arguments, the most recent evidentiary discovery order has a deadline of March 31. So it doesn't seem likely we'll hear before then.
27.
jc | March 8, 2010 at 5:51 am
yay…another self hating, closeted gay man in charge of making decisions about rights/initiatives for gays…who then, of course, voted against anything that would have benefit gays….what a surprise. these stories really make me feel sick to my stomach (because people like this have say in my life as a gay man) and depressed.
28.
rf | March 8, 2010 at 5:51 am
"I feel the force of the reich at work here"
No, that's just business as usual in Rhode Island. Not that Cicilline has anything to apologize for (as far as we know), but politicians and those connected to them in RI have a long history of corruption/ violence and the like. Think Marion Barry, Chicago, or Hudson County New Jersey. google Buddy Cianci as the shining example (although he did make providence beautiful). even the mayor of the middle class, average Providence suburb i grew up in spent time in jail after he got elected.
29.
Bill | March 8, 2010 at 6:02 am
Sean Hayes finally comes out of the closet…
However, I fail to see how being a closeted male celebrity for over 12 years translates as "monumental to the success of the gay movement in America."
OK, this just pisses me off, too!
Sean Hayes, dear boy, for 12 years you publicly lied about who you were so that you could reap MILLIONS of dollars in financial rewards. Then, once you secured your millions of dollars and never have to worry about working again, you become honest about who you are???
And you consider yourself monumental to the LGTB movement??? In what way exactly, Sean? In what way were you MONUMENTAL???
By showing young gay people that the only way to be successful is to lie about who you are or by 'coming out' only after you have secured yourself financially for life??
Jeez, this idiot pisses me off.
http://www.queerty.com/sean-hayes-just-came-out-a…
30.
Ronnie | March 8, 2010 at 6:09 am
So I got this letter in the mail today…read it….and then thought about the consequences of not doing what it asks me to do….Now I'm sure most of you have gotten this letter or will get it within the next few days….
From the U.S. Department of Commerce, Census bureau:
"Your response is important. Results from the 2010 Census will be used to help each community gets its fair share of government funds for highways, schools, health facilities, and many other programs you and your neighbors need. Without a complete, accurate census, your community may not receive its fair share."
Let's dissect this shall we (now remember the sarcasim from that Miss Cali video I posted from youtuber, Cheeks):
1.) "Ur response is important"….. as a Gay man I say "since when"
2.) "will be used to help each community get its fair share"……. Wait?!…whose community?….Not the LGBTQQIA one thats for damn sure….case in point o equality
3.) again "fair share of gov." blah blah…..How?…using the tax money from LGBTQQIA Americans?…..but I can't get married, donate blood, serve in the military openly….sure that's fare.
4.) "programs YOU and your neighbors need"…..awe that's so sweet…you are thinking about my needs…..NOT!!!!!!
5.) the last line….mainly "YOUR community may not receive it's fair share"….. again whose community?…. I'm sure you don't mean the LGBTQQIA community…and there's that phrase "fair share" again….Fair for who?….I'll believe it when Equality is reality.
Now this is what I will conclude with….maybe we should boycott the census…or put a huge stamp on it EQUALITY, GAY, LESBIAN, TRANSGENDERED, BISEXUAL, QUEER, QUESTIONING, INTERSEX, ALLY, STRAIGHT FOR GAY, ect. ect ect.
Just My Honest and Humble Gay Opinion…..<3….Ronnie
31.
dieter | March 8, 2010 at 6:27 am
Cheyenne Jackson Gets Piloted
By Advocate.com Editors
Broadway, film, and TV actor Cheyenne Jackson has joined the cast of a pilot for ABC called It Takes a Village.
The gay star will play the boyfriend of a character previously married to a woman, played by Leah Remini. Jackson, his boyfriend, Remini, and her boyfriend all team up to raise a teenager.
32.
dieter | March 8, 2010 at 6:28 am
OMFG!!!!!!
NEWS NEWS NEWS……..
Utah's Final Solution: Patriot Group Announces Bill To Force All Homosexuals Out Of The State, Arrest Fugitives
Calling it "Utah's Fair Solution", a group called Patriots For A Moral Utah is holding a press conference today to announce legislation that would force all homosexuals to leave the state. The bill would create a transportation system for shipping all gays out of the state and would criminalize any Utah citizen who "harbors a remaining homosexual." Here's the press release they sent out yesterday:
Patriots For A Moral Utah are pleased to announce a press conference tomorrow, at which time we will announce a new bill which outlining a solution to the problem of homosexuality in Utah. In the past 5 years it has become increasingly difficult and troublesome for the stead-fast and moral citizens of Utah to live their lives and their faith in peace, while the homosexuals continually force their choices and behaviors on us. This new legislation, titled the "Utah Fair Solution," will offer a peaceful but effective end to the tribulation in our blessed state. Despite promises from the homosexual activists to be out in force at the press conference, our President Nora Young has scheduled the announcement for 1pm in the Capitol Rotunda (March 8th). Please Join us.
Sincerely;
Paul Jackson
Public Relations
Patriots For A Moral Utah
pauljackson2000@gmail.com
33.
Paul N | March 8, 2010 at 6:32 am
Let them know "we're here and we're queer".
http://www.queerthecensus.org/site/c.jeJLIVOxEnH/…
34.
Scott | March 8, 2010 at 6:45 am
It's a hoax, and not a very well disguised one at that. Their facebook page links to Betty Bowers and Equality Utah.
35.
Kevin S. | March 8, 2010 at 6:47 am
This has got to be a hoax. Googling this group *only* turns up coverage of the release, nothing on the group itself, nothing about the actual press conference (which should have taken place nearly two hours ago). No hits for Paul Jackson or Nora Young turn up anything related to this group.
36.
David Kimble | March 8, 2010 at 6:53 am
A local group called Patriots for a Moral Utah has petitioned Lt. Gov. Greg Bell to submit what it calls the “Fair Solution Initiative” to referendum vote this November.
According to the bill’s text, published this morning on the group’s Facebook page, the initiative seeks to change state law to provide for “the involuntary redistribution and relocation of homosexuals to municipalities outside state boundaries or, to their rehabilitation in state sanctioned facilities.”
To do this, the bill would create an office of relocation and rehabilitation, a volunteer board of Utah residents to assist with the process, and public transportation options for homosexuals who will willingly leave the state. It also outlines guidelines to prosecute “delinquent homosexuals” or those who harbor them.
The bill’s statement of intent says that the bill is necessary to “heal the divides in this state currently afflicted on us by the homosexual population and give them the compassionate choice to either leave the state or conform to the moral standards of society and uphold the values of family and traditional marriage.”
The bill justifies itself by citing the passage of Amendment 3 in 2004 by a majority of Utah voters. This amendment changed Utah’s constitution to illegalize same-sex marriage, a practice which state law already prohibited.
“Since that time, the homosexual community in Utah has continued to grow and exhibit offensive behavior while relentlessly bombarding our children with carefully placed messages in the media,” the bill continued. “This statute, if enacted, would offer a final solution to afford our children protection from the expanding influence of homosexuals and strengthen our cultural mores at a time when society’s moral anchors are being displaced with reckless abandon.”
It also cites efforts against California’s Proposition 8 in which it accused gay and lesbian Americans of “[seeking] to denigrate and disparage religious communities and others who support the natural family.”
“They have attacked our sacred institutions and any attempts to reconcile with the deviants are followed by thuggish and brutish behavior including vandalism, defamation, trespassing and violence,” the bill reads. “Even now, the homosexuals are mounting a federal lawsuit that attempts to override state’s [sic] rights regarding traditional marriage.”
Here's the link to the full story – <3 David http://qsaltlake.com/index.php?option=com_content…
37.
Bill | March 8, 2010 at 7:02 am
Please ALWAYS post a link.
38.
David Kimble | March 8, 2010 at 7:07 am
I did Bill <3 David
39.
Ronnie | March 8, 2010 at 7:12 am
http://www.advocate.com/News/Daily_News/2010/03/0…
Posted on Advocate.com March 08, 2010
Supreme Court To Discuss Westboro Church
By Neal Broverman
"In the fall, the Supreme Court will take on the issue of the antigay Westboro Church protesting at military funerals."
(me)OMG!!! could it be that these nut jobs will be forced to leave the U.S. like Jim Jones?….I hope they don't drink the Kool-aid……….<3…Ronnie
40.
Richard A. Walter (s | March 8, 2010 at 7:17 am
And here we see yet another victim of the radicals who try to disguise themselves as "conservatives" or as "Christians." True conservatives would have wanted Ashburn to be upfront and honest about who he is and his sexuality. Only when more of us do this, will sexual orientation become a non-issue for all people.
41.
David Kimble | March 8, 2010 at 7:19 am
The article I linked to, does indeed question whether this is a hoax. It seems odd to me, the newspaper would publish the story, if it was a hoax. Although, I could be wrong, I dunno. <3 David
42.
David Kimble | March 8, 2010 at 7:21 am
Yes, agreed, Richard A. Walter, yet I don't see sex orientation becoming a non-issue for those in the Moral Majority (or is that Moral Minority?) <3 David
43.
dieter | March 8, 2010 at 7:25 am
Gay Players possibly coming to an NFL team near you:
http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2010/03/08/jim-tres…
44.
Straight Grandmother | March 8, 2010 at 7:27 am
I agree with Bill! I have no mercy or compassion. I suppose there are plenty of closeted gay people but you don't have to be so in the closet that you actually vote contrary to your conscience. That you vote for such inhumane doctrins is unforgivable. He says he was jsut voting as his constituants would want him to, why didn't he run on a truthful platform in the first place. I would never want him to have any platform or credability in the LGBT community.
45.
David Kimble | March 8, 2010 at 7:35 am
A little more investigation found this is a real group, but they are aligned with the Tea Party group. Here's a link to the story – http://www.dailykos.com/story/2010/3/8/844123/-Ut…
<3 David
46.
fiona64 | March 8, 2010 at 7:36 am
I don't know whether it's a hoax or not, but I have to say it wouldn't surprise me if it were real.
My first thought was "Gosh, maybe all the Molly Mormons can make little pink fabric triangles during Relief Society. You know, for distribution to the unrepentant LGBT people who are going to be forced out of the state."
Love,
Fiona
47.
Pam | March 8, 2010 at 7:37 am
I lived in Bakersfield for my entire life, up until three years ago. I have long thought Ashburn was a piece of work and I couldn't have been more elated to read the news report about his DUI.
I read an article at bakersfield.com and some bozo commented how "it didn't matter that he was gay". It doesn't? Would bozo have voted for an openly gay man in Bakersfield? NO!!!
This got me thinking: Should I really take such joy that he was thrown out of the closet? I started to feel pity for him. I could only imagine how hard his life has been, living this enormous lie in a world that not gay friendly. I understand why he would vote down any LGBT proposals… it was "self preservation".
He is the epitome of why LGBT people should receive equal rights and maybe it makes me happy to know that his blunder might help pave the way. So I guess I am happy he got booted out!
48.
fiona64 | March 8, 2010 at 7:38 am
Bumper sticker from back in the day:
"The Moral Majority is neither."
Love,
Fiona
49.
Ronnie | March 8, 2010 at 7:39 am
Is it wrong that I want this to be true?….because it will really push every LGBTQQIA person in this country over the edge….This would be a direct violation of freedom and the constitution……If anything this will start a civil war….the fed. gov. will be forced to take notice……
Remember I keep saying…"You can ignore a sleeping volcano…..but you can't ignore the eruption"…..this could be the eruption…..JMHGO……<3….Ronnie
50.
fiona64 | March 8, 2010 at 7:40 am
I never watched "Will & Grace"; I had to look this guy up to see who the heck he was.
/shameful confession about not looking at sitcoms
Love,
Fiona
51.
fiona64 | March 8, 2010 at 7:41 am
Looks like, per an update on Daily KOS, it's been proven as a hoax.
Love,
Fiona
52.
Lori | March 8, 2010 at 7:43 am
Ok, lets look at the Census this way. The census is used to allocate representation in Congress. The more LGBTs and their allies fill out the Census forms, the more representation will go to areas with LGBT support. If all people who support equality just didn't participate, more representation would go to antigay areas of the country.
Boycotting the Census would be a form of willingly relinquishing your voice in government.
53.
Kevin S. | March 8, 2010 at 7:44 am
It's only a matter of time. Homophobia is still rampant among jocks, but racism used to be too. Eventually, somebody who cares more about winning (and the profit associated with it) than how a guy gets down will take an openly gay player, and any team that refuses to follow suit will put themselves behind the eight-ball competitively.
54.
astro | March 8, 2010 at 7:48 am
Typical self serving lying politician. Being gay didn't make him any less a typical politician, now did it? Let the irony not be lost here. The bigots voted for him without realizing he was gay. If they didn't even know he was gay, then it just goes to show how nonsensical their bigotry really is. Of course, that's the last thing any of the bigots will realize.
55.
Straight Grandmother | March 8, 2010 at 7:56 am
No no no Ronnie I hope each and every filthy member of Westboro Church drinks gallons and gallons of purple Kool-aid. A have been absent from the oboard a few days as I had a lot of work to do. But a few days ago someone posted a link to a website from the Pastor's son Nat I think his name is. I ahve to find it and go back as what the son writes is a real eye opener.
Oh here I went and looked it up and am posting the link http://natephelps.com/10801.html
Read this and weep people, weep for the children of Pastor Phelps.
56.
Ronnie | March 8, 2010 at 7:56 am
The problem is Lori…..is that there is NO way of them knowing that LGBTQQIA people filled out the census….that's the point……..<3…Ronnie
57.
Waxr | March 8, 2010 at 7:56 am
Paul:
Your evaluation of Ashburn's future is overly optimistic.
Ashburn was never a well known political figure, so nobody is going to be interested in a book writes.
Ashburn will die a lonely death, but that will most likely be within the decade. Otherwise, what you said is on the mark.
58.
Michelle Evans | March 8, 2010 at 7:59 am
To lighten the mood here with the heavy discussion of Ashburn, I thought I'd pass along the rather funny send up of him that I just received:
SACRAMENTO (The Borowitz Report) – Anti-gay California State Sen. Roy Ashburn today demanded a sweeping recall of the vehicle that drove him to a gay nightclub this week.
Sen. Ashburn, a Republican who has consistently voted for anti-gay legislation, said that the car drove him to the club “against my will.”
“If we are recalling cars for problems with their brakes and power steering, then surely we should be recalling vehicles that force their drivers to go to gay nightclubs,” Sen. Ashburn said.
The state senator said not only did the car drive him to the gay nightclub, but it forced him to enter the club and party there for hours, resulting in his later arrest for DUI.
“I can’t tell you what a menace this car is,” he said. “It really is the gayest car I’ve ever seen.”
In addition to calling for a recall of the gay car, Sen. Ashburn said he would sponsor legislation mandating that all California vehicles be fitted not only with GPS but gaydar.
59.
Waxr | March 8, 2010 at 8:04 am
I am reminded of an old cartoon: Two Senator's are leaving the Capitol building. One says to the other, "It's going to be hard to leave here and live under those laws I helped pass."
60.
Ronnie | March 8, 2010 at 8:05 am
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!…you're so gay….I bet you think is really about you(senator @$$burn, because it is)…..You're so gay….you are….you are….hehehehe….Thanks M.E…….I needed that…..<3….Ronnie
61.
Ronnie | March 8, 2010 at 8:09 am
Not purple Kool-aid…that was Harvey Milk's favorite…..sour apple….seems fitting…yeah?
62.
Kevin S. | March 8, 2010 at 8:13 am
I know nearly nothing of his acting career, but I saw him as Applegate in Damn Yankees on Broadway a couple years ago, and he was absolutely fantastic in the role.
63.
Waxr | March 8, 2010 at 8:16 am
@Ronnie:
The census does not directly ask if you are Lesbian or Gay, but for the last two census they have kept track of households with same sex adults living together.
64.
Kevin S. | March 8, 2010 at 8:18 am
The thing that bothers me most about Westboro is not the protests (because let's be serious, not even most anti-gay people take them seriously) but how much they've brainwashed their children to hate. It's heartbreaking.
65.
Ronnie | March 8, 2010 at 8:24 am
From "Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss" staring Sean Hayes…..<3….Ronnie:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBy_qUTMPYs
66.
fiona64 | March 8, 2010 at 8:27 am
Ronnie, order the sticker at the link Paul N. put up, and put it on the envelope with the appropriate box marked.
I'm going to order one as soon as I get home (can't get FB from here).
Love,
Fiona
67.
Ronnie | March 8, 2010 at 8:27 am
again the problem is that there is NO way of them knowing that LGBTQQIA people filled out the census…..what about the rest of us?…..What I said above sums it up….the census is BS….If thee gov really meant what was said in that letter….then we wouldn't be having this discussion…..<3….Ronnie
68.
fiona64 | March 8, 2010 at 8:28 am
Holy crap! Who knew that they are issuing Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and Herbie the Lovebug out of the state motorpool?
;->
Love,
Fiona
69.
Waxr | March 8, 2010 at 8:31 am
"Utah's Fair Solution"?
Undoubtedly inspired by Hitler's "Final Solution".
70.
Alan E. | March 8, 2010 at 8:32 am
I'm so sorry.
71.
Alan E. | March 8, 2010 at 8:33 am
They probably used the LiLo version of Herbie. It has to be cheaper than the classic.
72.
Pam | March 8, 2010 at 8:36 am
You're telling me!
73.
Linda | March 8, 2010 at 8:49 am
I'll vote for this iniatitive as long as it means all the Mormons in the country have to move INTO Utah and not Be allowed out.
74.
Ronnie | March 8, 2010 at 8:49 am
I ordered the sticker and sent it to a shite loud of people….<3….Ronnie
75.
Straight Dave | March 8, 2010 at 9:29 am
@Bill
I was just being tongue in cheek.
Would you rather have me (straight) voting on your rights or Ashburn (gay)? It's not so simple anymore.
….all the while making fun of the Bakersfield-ites that unknowingly voted for a gay senator.
76.
David Kimble | March 8, 2010 at 9:41 am
Yes, that's what the Daily Kos now says about the story, too! However, the Daily Kos did note there is at least one person out there who is all for this crapola! <3 David
77.
Ronnie | March 8, 2010 at 9:42 am
OMG David K….I just found that group on FB…and they are for reals…I mean not to cool for reals(4 fingers pointing down on the shoulder)…..but the actually a group for reals….WTF…..HUNT them down….these people are PSYCHOS….even if it the whole press conference and proposed bill is a hoax….no no no no…not acceptable…..F freedom of speech….someone needs to shut these Swatzies DOWN…..<3….Ronnie
78.
David Kimble | March 8, 2010 at 9:55 am
"Sen. Ashburn, a Republican who has consistently voted for anti-gay legislation, said that the car drove him to the club “against my will.” Good God Girdie – he actually said this, yet what is even more remarkable – there are people who will believe him! <3 David
79.
Miller | March 8, 2010 at 9:57 am
Rightthingtodo TX , haha, WND is nothing but a tabloid. There is more advertising than any site I can think of. You can hardly get to an actual "article" without mistaking one of their advertising links. What a shit web site that is and anyone who thinks they are a legit news site really don't understand journalism. They give such a lopsided story each and every time. I try to warn everyone I can about that site.
80.
Miller | March 8, 2010 at 10:06 am
Yes, as I've often heard, the loudest ones against GLBT equality are one of those themselves. It is sad he was elected with such lies. Ok, if you're closeted don't enter politics and preach against GLBT people.
I hope he is happier in life now and he gets through this and just maybe he'll do something positive for the GLBT people he has been against all these years.
81.
David Kimble | March 8, 2010 at 10:07 am
Yes, I know, Ronnie! I have known neocon Mormons with this kind of mentality, which is why this is so frightening. <3 David
82.
Ronnie | March 8, 2010 at 10:40 am
http://www.advocate.com/Arts_and_Entertainment/Mu…
Matt Morris: An Ideal Husband
Singer-songwriter and Out 100 honoree Matt Morris talks RuPaul’s Drag Race, coming out to pal Justin Timberlake, and the big secret to being a successful gay artist.
By Brandon Voss
(me) I completely forgot this guy is Gay
What made you decide to be out professionally?
Because I’m married. I got married in California — pre-Prop. 8 in the little window of time that we could — and then I had a full-fledged wedding in Colorado, so it’s not just about me anymore. Being out has a different weight to it when you’re in a relationship. When you’re young and single, you can give everybody the CliffsNotes version of your life. But when someone else comes into the picture — what, I’m going to cut him out and not talk about somebody who’s really important to me? I have a life that’s made richer by somebody else, so if I start editing away those parts of myself for the sake of perceived career advancement, then doesn’t that sacrifice the integrity of the relationship and of that other person? And if it sacrifices their integrity, doesn’t it sacrifice my own integrity? I don’t need a tell-all feature to share that with people, and I don’t need to make it the primary point of every conversation, but I’m certainly not going to pretend my relationship doesn’t exist. I have more respect for it than that.
(me) and what does Haggie have?….A Hindu husband that she doesn't allow to go out in public with here….hmmm…..
How is your husband, Sean Michael Morris, handling the growing spotlight?
He’s a very grounding force — which my mother appreciates. [Laughs] We focus on the life that we have, and we have a life that requires both of our focus. The spotlight is an amazing thing to be under. After years of waiting to put this album out, being up onstage and sharing music that’s really close to my heart brings a kind of joy that’s been missing from my life for a while. But happening at the same time is the other, ordinary part of my life that has to be nurtured and maintained in order for me to have the focus and the will to experience the big bright spotlight. I do not have a simple life, so I come with challenges, but we approach everything head-on. I included in my liner notes, “Every day we wake up and we make the decision to love each other, and every day that we do it’s the right decision to make.”
(Me)….I am really jealous right now…but still…awe…..
How did you come out to Justin?(Timberlake- friend/producer)
I was out to Justin my last year at Disney, so he knew back then. It was like a shrug-your-shoulders “Yeah? So?” kind of thing. I don’t think it was a big surprise at all.
(me) I have had the hugest crush on Justin Timberlake since the 8th grade…
I mean come on Haggie…..produce one…just one credible celebrity….to make your fight substantial….You don't have Justin Timberlake…and Celebs like Matt Morris is showing your kids that we are normal…we are human…and we deserve your respect and tolerance….<3…Ronnie
83.
Ronnie | March 8, 2010 at 10:43 am
Here is Matt Morris and Justin Timberlake singing "Hallelujah" together for the Haiti telethon….enjoy……oh and read the full article on advocate.com….its really good….<3…Ronnie
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuNP_hvWkE4
84.
David Kimble | March 8, 2010 at 10:54 am
[youtube
85.
jimig | March 8, 2010 at 11:05 am
i couldn't finish it, unfortuately he not the only nutcase out there a couple I know.
86.
Straight Ally #3008 | March 8, 2010 at 11:09 am
It's really depressing that we're even wondering if this is real.
This also struck me as a giveaway from David K's article:
Sound familiar? NOM's "The Gathering Storm?"
87.
jimig | March 8, 2010 at 11:44 am
Benjamin Lopez, lobbyist for the Traditional Values Coalition, said, "I don't know why Roy strayed. But he said that the Rev. Louis Sheldon, founder of the coalition, was open to help Ashburn with counseling.
I saw this and I was wondering what kind of counseling would this group of nuts offer. I am assuming that they are still open to shock therapy. Not so long ago when I was living in Arkansas that was the suggestion they had for me. So I am assuming these are the same type of people given some of the hate coming out of that state.
I did look at this groups web site, damn scary.
88.
Ronnie | March 8, 2010 at 12:02 pm
You're welcome David K….I will watch yours later…after I watch RuPaul's Drag Race…….<3…Ronnie
89.
Waxr | March 8, 2010 at 12:03 pm
In some states, it might even pass.
90.
Ronnie | March 8, 2010 at 12:12 pm
http://www.politicsdaily.com/2010/03/08/pope-sile…
Pope Silent on Uganda's 'Kill-the-Gays' Bill by David Gibson
POSTED: 03/8/10
"Pope Benedict XVI met with the Roman Catholic hierarchy of Uganda at the Vatican last Friday and delivered a speech summing up what he saw as the main tasks of the church in the East African nation — but made no mention of the draconian anti-homosexuality bill that has prompted an international outcry. "
(me)….hmmmm…I wonder why?….because he FU<KING agrees with it…..
"He also urged them "to resist the seduction of a materialistic culture of individualism which has taken root in so many countries" — a reference to concerns about an encroaching cultural influence from Europe and North America."
(me)…..@$$
There are so many words that I just can't post it because it will take hours to write and fill this page….so all I will end with is……
WOW!!!!!……..oh and check out the pic of this FOOL!!! i the article…..is it me or does it look he has NO soul in his eyes?…..at least the last guy looked his heart was beaming from every part of him….<3…..Ronnie
91.
Richard Walter (soon | March 8, 2010 at 12:17 pm
Remember, Ronie, this is the Nazi Pope. He was in the Hitler Youth and SS during WWII. The reason he looks as if there is no soul in his eyes is because there is none. I have seen plenty of picures of "His Holiness" due to being a former 3rd degree in the Knights of Columbus. Yes, he agrees with what Uganda is proposing. He agreed with it when he was part of the Third Reich, and he has not changed since. He wants to eliminate his competition so that he can be the one to molest the altar boys.
92.
Kevin S. | March 8, 2010 at 12:20 pm
The Church wants to believe homosexuality is wrong, that's their business – free thought is not repressed in this country, even if we find it ethically distasteful. But their utter unwillingness to condemn violence towards LGBT completely undercuts any message of compassion they offer.
And no, I am particularly unfond of this pope. I don't actually know what JPII's actions towards the LGBT community were, but in many other areas (especially science) he worked for the RC Church to begin to get with the times. Benedict XVI does not.
93.
Santa Barbara Mom | March 8, 2010 at 12:29 pm
If you click on the link provided by David #53 and read all the way down the page, you will find an apology from the person that posted the story…………IT IS NOT TRUE.
94.
jimig | March 8, 2010 at 12:35 pm
I have a number of Catholic friends I find like the Mormons they live a double life they argue one thing believe another and lie for the other.
I hate to admit it but I am finding it hard to even talk with these people ablut anything of consequences. I even found myself putting my hand out the widow giving the thumbs down sign to the little Mormons on their bikes. I know the middle finger would be better but I still need to believe we can kick there ass through love.
95.
Ed-M | March 8, 2010 at 12:35 pm
Yes, he did say that he will continue voting in the interests of his constituents but he needs to realise that his constituents include LGBTIQQ Californians both within and without his district. And he needs to educate his straight constituents that homophobia not only injures and even kills LGBTIQQ people, but also undermines legitimate family values, both traditional and modern. And if he doesn't, he's still being a self-loathing hatero who crucifies us at the altar of bigotry.
And don't forget, Jesus is one of us…
96.
David John Lawrence | March 8, 2010 at 12:38 pm
Group on Facebook committed to seeing that Ashburn never has sex with another man again:
http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/group.php?gid…
97.
Richard Walter (soon | March 8, 2010 at 12:45 pm
Oral Minority, David.
98.
Bob | March 8, 2010 at 12:49 pm
Straight Grandmother, so good to see you back, I believe you do have mercy and compassion, it's a part of our makeup as human beings. More likely you are just not willing to tap into those at this particular time, which is okay,
Secondly nothing is unforgivable, but that too we must work at, and it also takes time.
Forgiveness is what I am working on personally in my life right now, with my religious right family, and church.
Holy Mary mother of god, this thing is so fffffing hard. But I believe it's something worth striving for.
To senator Ashburn, I say, we are the same you and I , we are gay, the moment of coming out is a fearful sacred journey which can be very painful, we share that moment, you and I , no matter which way we come through it, we were both at that place, we share that with most LBGT folks,
I too was seriously screwed up by my religious upbringing, to the point of lying and cheating, to hide my identity, I bought into the lies I was taught about myself, this created hurt and pain, for those closest to me. I only know the full impact of it a quarter century later. For a long part of my time in the closet, when with straight friends I took their side in bashing queers, I am quilty as you on these counts.
But in the process of coming out, first to ourselves, then to our friends, then publicly, for you the process may be reversed but the outcome results in the same common denominator, a long look at our true self in the mirror.
This horrid process is followed by the most important decision in ones life, that being how to act or take action which encompasses the truth about who we are.
We all have the same choice here, and this is the deciding action which will prove our level of self acceptance.
1. we join our LGBT community, overwhelmed by it's embrace of us, in ways unfathomable , experiencing LOVE and acceptance for the first time ever, in ways that touch us so deeply, and move us into the possibility of becoming the true expression of human life, that we were created to be. we discover the healing abilities of our community, and make use of the well educated helpers, from all disciplines , counsellors, therapists, you name it, to help us enter humanity. Senator Ashburn this is what awaits you when you embrace the truth of your inner core.
2. we reject a part of ourselves as unworthy, maintain the lies engrained by false endoctrination, hate that part of ourselves to the point of destroying it, in other words, your actions would be to continue as you are, and in so doing, you lash out in hatred at me, because I am the mirror image of you, that part of you that you loathe. If you take this action, perhaps you could attempt rehabilitative therapy, and undergo mind training and other psychological attempts at killing a part of yourself. This may garner you some sympathy from those constiuants you aim to please, If you choose this approach you could help those who are anti gay to see if it works.
Whichever approach you take, we will know you by your actions and not your speach, this is the moment of truth.
And whichever action you choose, neither you or I can deny, that in our differences we shared this moment of common unity, we shared a common experience, looked into each others eyes face to face, hunter and hunted, we had a moment of truce. Know lets return to our lives and live them to the best of our ability. We have an opportunity to make the world a better place, or continue as we are.
Whatever, my place on this journey is working on forgiveness, I don't know if I'm capable, forgive me if I fail,
Vengance traps us in the past, to repeat hatred and self loathing, and hurting ourselves and others.
Forgiveness remembers the future, and all the possibilities it holds for us, the future is awesome, join us in creating it.
To the LGBT community, this is a defining moment for us , hopefully someone somewhere, could write a letter, addressed to the Senator, holding out an olive branch, which he can accept or reject, but our response in the end cannot be rejection of one of our own, we must rise above that.
I leave you with this prayer written on, a scrap of paper found in 1945 in the Ravensbruck concentration camp
O Lord
remember not only the men and women of good will,
But all those of ill will.
But do not remember all the suffering
They have inflicted upon us;
Remember the fruits we have bought
Thanks to this suffering……
Our comradeship, our loyalty, our humility,
Our courage, our generosity, the greatness of heart
Which has grownout of all this;
And when they come to judgment,
Let all the fruits we have borne
Be their forgiveness.
99.
Ed-M | March 8, 2010 at 1:03 pm
Yeah, and George Chauncey said in the P8T that LGBTIQQA people are politically powerless… which is true EXCEPT WHEN THEY ARE SELF-LOATHING CLOSET CASES WHO WILL GLADLY VOTE AGAINST THE INTERESTS OF THEIR BROTHERS AND SISTERS… and eventually, themselves… epic oppression of queer people all around.
100.
Ronnie | March 8, 2010 at 1:21 pm
Pope Beneathadict the Umpteenth needs be thrown off the balcony of the Vatican…..Fu<king Swatzy B!tch…..I really hate to be this direct but honestly…."Jesus loves you my child"…..my f-ing 25yo @$$….Maybe I should pull a Xena and suduce the fu<ker and pull a dagger from by …ummm…..or maybe just hold a pillow over his face like Margaret Cho would do and say…."I fu<king hate you!!!!!!!!…..I hope you never wake up!!!!……I wanna put this pillow on your face so baddddd……I would kill you If I could get away with it!!!……That;s always when they wake up….(him)What are you thinking about?…..(me/her)I was just thinking about us….It's terrible….when the relationship is over…..but only….you….know"……Hmmm…anyone wanna sponsor mu crusade?…..I'm just joshing you….heheheheheheeehehehe…..No really any sponsors?…..LMGAO…to the bank…..lol…..<3….Ronnie
101.
Sheryl | March 8, 2010 at 1:51 pm
my first reaction was there would be a lot of parents up in arms.
And, once again, I like to remind people that not all mormons are anti-gay. And I have no desire to move to Utah. I enjoy living in California.
Sheryl B (So as not to be confused with the other Sheryl who posts)
102.
G. Rod | March 8, 2010 at 1:54 pm
@ Bill & Bob: Are you the heads & tails of the same coin.
@ Ed-M: because you are one of Ashburb's constituents, perhaps you'd be willing to reach out to him.
You obviously believe that he is capable of coming to a fundamental 'realization' and is capable of being an 'educator.'
The Jesus you invoke encourages forgiveness and resisting stone throwing. He tells Judas, Barabbas, and Peter that nothing is unforgivable. Not all believed him.
Bob, you show insight into human nature. Your writing is capable of inspiring! Thank you for taking the time to sensitively articulate your thoughts.
103.
Richard Walter (soon | March 8, 2010 at 2:04 pm
@Bob. Yes, as you state, it is hard to forgive, and it is even harder to forget. The prayer you quoted here is definitely something all of us should strive for, and you have just given me an inspiration for a counted cross stitch sampler I will do shortly, after I finish some other projects around the house. Thank you for that.
104.
Ed-M | March 8, 2010 at 2:24 pm
I would have expected something like this to come out of Virginia… after Sarah Falin becomes President… that is, IF she becomes President… I for one wouldn't be surprised if she does… my opinion of my fellow Americans is that low… and she is the Whore of Babylon for our era (oops I mean the moral leader of our time )…
105.
Ed-M | March 8, 2010 at 2:26 pm
Good thing this is a hoax. It would be stupid of the "Christian" Religious Reicht to tip their hand long before they are ready to play it… which is why we always have to denounce their lies and demand the MSM denounce them, too…
106.
Ed-M | March 8, 2010 at 2:41 pm
Straight Grandmother, we should weep for his gay grandson, who is deeply in the closet and totally repressed by Fred Phelps' Westboro(ugh) (pun intended) brand of hate.
Michael Moore's camera crew catches him looking longingly at that which his granddaddy's cult says is forbidden to him… cause it's an "abomination!" 5:54 into this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ra_fAYl4Th4
107.
Ed-M | March 8, 2010 at 2:48 pm
And here's an interview with the boy whilst he was in Chicago. On Halstead Avenue. He admits never having hugged a girl or kissed a girl and conceded he could be gay, then doubled back and said "there's no question" he is straight. He said "homosexuality disgusts me." Yet he has not yet taken his coworkers up on their offers to a topless bar. And he asks God to take away those impure thoughts in his head, which he insists are not about men.
http://www.lakeeffectnews.com/2009/08/03/i-can-gu…
The link has a photo and he looks he fits in not with Fred Phelps & Co but with Chicago's LGBTIQQA community.
108.
Ed-M | March 8, 2010 at 3:10 pm
Great video, except for the last five seconds. THAT was too much like a gaybashing and totally unnecessary.
109.
Ed-M | March 8, 2010 at 3:18 pm
Recently I read of someone else who was from Arkansas… the ultra-conservative town of El Dorado… and his family is descended from some of the founders…
http://www.google.com/#hl=en&source=hp&q=…
"Bryce Faulkner is a bright young pre-med student who, … his mother found his email password and discovered communications between [him] and [his lover, Travis Swanson]…"
I've seen YouTube video reports and read blogs about this guy and it is truly heartbreaking. But he's already had found true love and that, along with God, will sustain him through the unnecessarily long session of emotional, mental and spiritual torture that his parents blackmailed him into… and at the time he felt he had no choice.
110.
Kevin S. | March 8, 2010 at 3:30 pm
I don't know what's more sickening about stories such as this – that parents would lie and say they really love the children they subject to such things, or that they might be telling the truth.
Stay strong and true to yourself, Bryce Faulkner.
111.
Ed-M | March 8, 2010 at 3:45 pm
Richard, I have seen pictures of Ratzinger after he became pope and to me, he looks like nothing else than a creepy pedophile… who thinks teenaqge boys are too old for him!
112.
StraightGuy | March 8, 2010 at 11:26 pm
A coworker of mine is married with kids. Over the years he has had the temptation to have sex with guys and has acted on his urges on several occassions, both before being married and after. One day he just decided to give it up like smoking. That's been over 3 years now.
He's happier now than he has ever been, as he's been checked for STDs and came out clean and he no longer feels like he has to rationalize his acting out on his gay urges as not cheating on his wife.
My point is that there are some guys who are ok in the closet, and there's nothing wrong with that. In his case, he is now a faithfully married guy who no longer has to worry about getting caught with some guy he met on Craigslist or gay bar. He is also anti-homosexual, as he sees his urges as a temptation that he just needed to fight, and he believes that others can do so, they just choose not to.
As he never had any emotional connection with the guys that he had met over the years, and since he loves his wife and kids, I don't see him as inevitably crashing and burning in self-denial.
113.
Dave T | March 8, 2010 at 11:36 pm
Americans take these things far too seriously. Sure, it's important for the government to know some things, but let's have a little fun with it.
114.
Ronnie | March 8, 2010 at 11:41 pm
It's not a temptation if he was actively seeking it out…He's GAY…or at the very least Bi…..he is not anti-homosexual…he is a self hating homosexual and is projecting his self hate…..How many god damn time do have to say this……Saying, thinking, and doing are all completely different things……just because he says it doesn't make it true….and doesn't mean he is not thinking it…..and just because he tells you he is not sleeping with other guys on the side doesn't mean he's not….
There is something wrong with that….especially since he has kids…down the line…its going to fu<k over everybody….just ask Tiger Woods(i know he's straight but still works)…..Jim McGreevy……Se, @SSburn…..enough said…….<3….Ronnie
115.
Dave T | March 8, 2010 at 11:52 pm
It's fine if he wants to live his life that way – in fact, isn't that (in part) what we're fighting for? The right to choose how to live?
The problem lies with "he is also anti-homosexual, as he sees his urges as a temptation that he just needed to fight, and he believes that others can do so, they just choose not to". He seems to feel that since he's OK in the closet, everyone else should be too. Everyone else should live the way he has chosen to.
The correct lesson that he should take away from this is one of diversity: there are many different ways of expressing your sexuality: 100% straight, 100% gay, or (like him) somewhere in between. And somebody located in one place on that continuum should not be forced to live like they're somewhere else on the continuum.
Ask him some time how he would like to be forced to live like an out gay man, since he thinks it's ok to force others to live like a closeted gay man.
116.
StraightGuy | March 8, 2010 at 11:55 pm
I wouldn't call him gay, only because I know how he loves women. I think he's straight, but he doesn't get enough at home so he had found a way to get some without "cheating" on his wife.
I don't see how his deciding not to have sex with men is any different from any other married guy who commits to not having sex outside of his marriage.
So what's wrong with a guy being faithful to his wife even if he has gay urges? And if Senator Ashburn was faithful to his wife while he was married, what's the big deal about him being closeted if he hadn't acted on his urges? And if he hadn't gotten divorced and stayed faithful to his wife until his death, what's bad about that?
117.
Ronnie | March 9, 2010 at 12:02 am
wait….you know he loves women?….so you can read his mind?…..ANYTHING sexual in nature that is with another person who is not your wife or husband is cheating….
"I wouldn't call him gay"…..then he is Bi….enough said…..<3…Ronnie
118.
Ronnie | March 9, 2010 at 12:22 am
Well their you have it a Hatero male senator who got away with slashing his now fiance with a broken glass bottle pushing an unconstitutional Reich agenda….
http://www.advocate.com/News/Daily_News/2010/03/0…
Posted on Advocate.com March 09, 2010
Monserrate Supporters Strike at Gays
By Julie Bolcer
"Supporters of former New York state senator Hiram Monserrate are distributing an antigay flyer in churches as part of their bid to help him regain his seat in next week’s special election in Queens."
(me) you do realize Hateros that he was caught on video throwing her around like a rag doll and slashing her with a broken glass bottle?….Would Jesus approve?….I don't think so…..
"It says those groups ‘are dedicated to destroying our way of life and creating same sex marriage,” reports the Daily News."
(me) How are gay people destroying your way of life?….are you going to be forced to be gay and marry the same gender? NO!!!!!!!!……are you going to not be able to procreate anymore?…..NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!…..are you going to have to learn how to tolerate other people?…..YES!!!!!!…..FUC<KING HATERO BIGOT HYPOCRITES…<3….Ronnie
119.
Richard Walter (soon | March 9, 2010 at 12:23 am
And you definitely do NOT want to hear him sing the Mass. His voice is described by his last name. And yes, he is probably a pedophile who pecializes in prepubescent boys.
120.
Ronnie | March 9, 2010 at 12:28 am
http://www.advocate.com/News/Daily_News/2010/03/0…
Posted on Advocate.com March 09, 2010
Va. Students Push Against AG Order
By Julie Bolcer
"University students in Virginia on Monday pushed against an order from state attorney general Ken Cuccinelli that public universities should drop sexual orientation from their nondiscrimination policies."
(me)you see you woke a sleeping volcano….don't say I didn't warn you…..
“Students at Virginia Commonwealth University, one of the few in the state not on break, planned a rally for noon Wednesday, with several hundred students committed. At Christopher Newport University, student Republican and Democratic leaders will discuss their next steps at a bipartisan meeting Friday,” reported the Post."
(me)The Hateros really should just listen to the younger generation and STFU……<3….Ronnie
121.
Straight Grandmother | March 9, 2010 at 4:04 am
@Bob, you are a better man than me (figurativly speaking). I cannot and will not forgive anyone who creates laws that make MY children second class citizens. I think he should be shunned, like in the old fashioned sense of shunning. He harmed MY children, my mother cat claws are fully extended. And the fact that he did it as a closeted gay man makes it all the worse. No no no, no platform for him in the LGBT community. If he ever gets up to speak on behlaf of this community they should cut his mike.
I don't wish him any harm and I hope he is able to make a life for himself finally living his life honestly, but as a LGBT "Leader", as a spokesperson, as someone who speaks from a platform? No Hell NO! He harmed MY children, don't forget that.
122.
Bob | March 9, 2010 at 4:39 am
StraightGuy, there's a name for this behavior, it's called the down low. (under the table hidden from view) it happens frequently, a lot of us gay men have taken pride in ticking off another straight guy on our sex rampages.
First this is a very easy outlet for pent up sexual frustration of closeted gays, you shoot your wad and go home, Part of the attraction to this behavior is the risk factor, which makes it also an endorfin rush, or high, get it on get off and not get caught, This aspecit makes the behavior highly addictive.
Secondly you acted as an enabler to the behavior, if you helped your friend keep it a secret. In that sense you also got part of the rush of hearing the stories.
Your friend is lucky to have you as a confidant, in effect by telling you, it relieved his guilt feelings.
Did you ever encourage him to share these truths about himself and his behavior with the one he loved,(his wife)
I would bet he hasn't done this, and this is how you can truly help your friend, by encouraging him to be honest in his relationship.
If he truly has quit this behavior, this would be a natural progression for him in dealing with it, he needs support and the comfort of feeling truly loved in spite of misbehaviors. If he is being truly honest with you and his marriage is founded on LOVE, it will not only survive this painfull truth, but wil be strengthened by it.
This is also the only way you can be honest with yourself, and how you value your friendship.
It's very easy to talk about another persons behavior, but really it all in the end boils down to a reflection of who you are and where you are at in your own life.
Get real, be honest LOVE yourself and your friend, and help us all understand these aspects of ourselves, if you are for real, get on with it, and get back to us, I for one would love to know how it goes.
Like quitting smoking, people backslide, and the friends that I watched go through that process, after telling me they quit, then also lied to me and smoked behind my back.
Thank you for sharing
123.
Straight Grandmother | March 9, 2010 at 4:51 am
Ed, on that Bryce website there was this really good video.
Not all parents reject their children, look at these loving parents.
[youtube
124.
Straight Grandmother | March 9, 2010 at 4:53 am
Oh Ronnie I totally agree with you. This Pope is Evil with a capital E. John Paul II was a loving spiritual man, this Pope is an egomaniac. He is dangerous.
125.
Straight Grandmother | March 9, 2010 at 5:02 am
Everyone here will probably shount me down but I agree with you. The key word you used is :faithful" It is no different than a completely hetrosexual man not cheating on his wife hetrosexually. I don't think there is anything wrong with living against your sexual orientation and remaining faithful in an opposite sex marriage, it is a choice you make. The key word is to be always faithful to your spouce. But it is wrong to be on the down low, it is still cheating.
126.
Ed-M | March 9, 2010 at 5:25 am
Straight Grandmother, Thank God there are parents who love their children for who they are, even in evangelical/fundamentalist circles!
127.
Ed-M | March 9, 2010 at 5:45 am
@Straight Guy, since your coworker has committed to his wife and decided to be faithful to her, I wish him well and that he continues in his happiness. That being said, I really do not think there is any valid reason for him to be anti-homosexual and trying to force his closet bi-curious lifestyle down our throats. After all, he would vociferously object if we demanded that he divorce his wife, abandon his kids and live an openly gay or bi life! He needs to come to the place where he can say, "Yes, I'm gay/bi/queer/bi-curious but I'm married to the one I love dearly and will remain faithful to her. This is the choice I made for myself. Not all men like me can or want to make that choice. For most of them recoil at the very thought! So just as they should support my life choices, so to will I support their life choices and work to create a society where they can be free to make their life choices."
Because when you get down to it, gay rights are also "ex-gay" rights, no matter how much people will tell you to the contrary.
128.
Ed-M | March 9, 2010 at 5:49 am
Their way of life is literally hating us. they are consumed with homo-hatred. I know I'm stating the obvious, but that's why we called them hateros.
129.
Ed-M | March 9, 2010 at 5:55 am
The hateros really have woken the sleeping volcano: they've even managed to unite student Democrats and Republicans against them: Democrats because they believe in individual personal freedom, and Republicans because do not like big government getting on our backs and into our pockets. This is going to be like Yellowstone, which is a caldera that erupts every 700,000 years or so and every time it wakes up it destroys half the country.
130.
Ronnie | March 9, 2010 at 6:05 am
BWAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!…….
http://www.advocate.com/News/Daily_News/2010/03/0…
Posted on Advocate.com March 09, 2010
ManCrunch Offers Ashburn Free Membership
By Advocate.com Editors
"Gay website ManCrunch.com has offered newly out California state senator Roy Ashburn a free membership if he agrees to stop voting against gay rights."
(me)…snicker…snicker…..<3…Ronnie
131.
Bob | March 9, 2010 at 6:27 am
@G. Rod, I slept on the thought of Bill +Bob being heads and tails of the same coin, it's a wonderful metaphor, (is that the correct usage of the word metaphor)
First I only saw the opposites, in opposition, I guess we flip to see what comes up, but then in my dream , I realized we were a gold coin, the most magnificent ever seen, more highly prized than an olympic medal, we became so valuable from all the struggles we persevered. That gold was what held us together, and the beauty was that each side was an extreme but in total we were held together by the content of our makeup, and what we are on the inside. No matter which side we approach the struggle from, if we work at it long enough we get to the core of our being, our true value and worth.
And that straight granmother is what we are aiming for, and you prove to us our worth by your willingness to fight to keep us in the shalpe in which we were minted, not thrown back into the flames for a recast.
I love that your claws are out, that is such an attractive feature to me, especially because my mother would not do that for me. Your willingness to do battle and create a better world for your grandchildren humbles me.
It is true this anger must find an expression, only once accepted and expressed can we move on. That takes time, take all the time you need. But in the process of working this through, be mindful of the kind of world you would like to create, would you like your grandchildren to inherit a battle of hatred, shunning, that is what we do when we hold onto the rage. I'm not better than you, as I said this just happens to be exactly where I am at on my journey, working on forgiveness, I still have not accomplished it, But I know there are ways to bring it about.
G. Rod, personaly I wasn't involking Jesus, the spiritual leaders who taught this by their actions, were Gandhi, King, and Mandela. they brought forgiveness into the light to such an extent that scientists are now able to study it's efffects. as George E. Vaillant, M.D. states in his book Spiritual Evolution.
I hope we can arrive at that place
Be the Change
132.
Bob | March 9, 2010 at 6:36 am
Ronnie,, I love it, how appropriate, an easier way to get laid.
what's that saying, any publicity,
The advocate would make money off of this, so we are all the same……. looking for opportunity.
It is an olive branch none the less, and a very public one at that.
I was hoping courage campaign, and other organziations working with LBGT'S would also write a formal letter, offering some other healthier choices, in a very public manner, shunning the shunner only reinforces his behavior, and fuels the flames.
133.
Kathleen | March 9, 2010 at 8:00 am
Bob said, "I love that your claws are out, that is such an attractive feature to me, especially because my mother would not do that for me."
That's what I don't understand. My boys are both straight, so I never had to fight for them in this particular context, but I certainly had to in plenty of other situations – everything from physically protecting them from harm to protecting them emotionally to defending their rights in other ways. For me, the instinct to fight for my children is so strong that I just don't understand how any parent doesn't.
In my view, the fact that parents don't stand up to their churches and challenge their religion for the sake of their children is evidence of brainwashing of the worst kind.
134.
Ed-M | March 11, 2010 at 12:44 pm
Except I don't live in California!
135.
JQ | March 12, 2010 at 1:02 pm
I think it might be a while, but eventually he will come around. Now that he is out, he will need some time to come to terms with what this means for him as a person. And it will take him some time to fully realize what it means to be gay in society right now. It might take some time, but I can't imagine him not seeing what he is deprived of in terms of equality and not at least being an ally (possibly not very active, but possibly very active).
Or he'll go to 'counseling' to get 'healed' and become an 'ex-gay'. Yikes.
136.
JQ | March 12, 2010 at 1:37 pm
@Lori
EXACTLY! Yes, the census is woefully inadequate, but boycotting it only gives more representation to others. And as we all know, WE need that representation.
137.
JQ | March 12, 2010 at 1:38 pm
And PS.
I ordered my queer the census sticker!
138.
eddie | March 13, 2010 at 4:02 am
this is such BS when Ashburn says …….. that his constituents would want it that way. This would also mean that his constituents wanted him to drink and drive.
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